Dove Onslaught Commercial
The problem is that all the mothers who are being exhorted to talk to their daughters were not only brought up in such a society, but also continue to live in it and soak it in every day. These are the mothers to whom the beauty industry advertises. These are the mothers who read the magazines; who buy the makeup, skin, and hair products and obsess over their reflections in the mirrors or the numbers on the scale; who have even shut out the messages of the world concerning beauty but instead turned to its other criteria for worth and success.
I feel comfortable saying that most of you don't want your daughters (current or future/potential) to grow up drowning in a hyper-sexualized culture like you were. But the problem is that you are still immersed in it yourself. And many of you still drink it in like it's not poison - yet you say you don't want to pass it on to the next generation. Unless the truth intervenes here, there is no reason for your children to believe otherwise about beauty, sexuality, and the criteria for being "good enough." So, by God's grace, let Truth speak here for our good and for the good of the daughters who have yet to be conceived.
1. Physical attractiveness and sexual desirability determine your worth. No one wants to say we believe this. But we do believe it. People who resemble the culture's beauty ideals like believing this because it gives them reason for pride, and those who don't resemble such ideals are crushed by standards they cannot meet. It is a lie and it's equally harmful to both groups of people. Both miss the vast majority of the purpose of the physical body God has made. If we follow the example of advertisements, which many young women do, we end up spending the majority of our time trying to allure men with our sensuality and compete with other women for the position of Object of Envy. We were made for much more than this, and we know it! Our bodies were made for more than sex appeal, and so were the bodies of those models and celebrities whose pictures you've cut out from magazines and hung on your walls as a testament to the idolatry of your own hearts.
2. Intellect, skill, and social acceptance determine your worth. The world, maybe in reaction against the massive campaign for women as sex objects but probably just because we like to think this, also tells women that we can earn more value by being smarter, more capable, and more socially acceptable. But upon judging themselves by these standards, most will bear the detrimental effects of "never good enough" just like followers of the beauty industry. And the intellectual and capable women are given license to look down on the others who are somehow incapable of achievements as great as theirs. It sounds pompous, reserved for someone with greater accomplishments than ours. But the truth is that we do it no matter how small our accomplishments are. I did it in high school with my petty academic awards and social honors, and I'm tempted to do it now. You latch onto this idea, and suddenly the women who aren't as smart, who are mean, who are socially awkward, and who don't speak your language, the elderly and the young, the poor and the handicapped - suddenly these women become a little less human in your eyes. Tell me how this is an improvement upon the objectification of women as sex objects.
Here's the truth: Your worth doesn't come from yourself. Our worth does not come from what we do or how we look; it doesn't even come from the self as some kind of inherent value; it comes from God, our Creator, who gave it to us when He decided to make us in His own image. Before Adam was, God said He would make Him in His likeness. Dignity was given to mankind by God before he even existed, and thus in our very existence as creatures of God we have worth. What makes us think we can add to such dignity by our own abilities or beauty? And what do we even do with the intellect, physical beauty, and relationships God graciously gives us? We trash God's name and live for ourselves.
Society is the way it is because it's full of people like you and me. We rebel against the God who gave us our worth and instead try to earn our value according to man-made standards. God hates it, and humans can't even find satisfaction in it because we were made not only by Him, but FOR Him. God made your body for more than just sensuality. He made your mind and your personality for more than academic prestige and social success. He crafted every part of you for His glory - to get praise. Every part of you belongs to Him, and every part of you sins against Him when you refuse to live according to His purpose. The problem of women trying to find their identities in how they look and what they do won't get fixed by positive self-esteem. It's a deep-rooted sin problem that only God is big enough to handle.
Here's the truth: Christ has already determined your worth - and it's greater than any of your own criteria combined. When Jesus left heaven and humbly came to earth as the holy and righteous God-man, He came to find those who were lost and save them. He came to give His life up to take the punishment from God that we deserved. He came to forgive us of our pride and to free us from bondage to these sinful lies that run so deep in our culture and in our own hearts. He was raised from the dead to give new life to those who trust that He is truly the Lord of all and the Savior. If you don't know Him, turn to Him and He will forgive you! If you have been saved by His grace through faith, stop feeding yourself lies as though you don't already have the truth! The truth is: Your worth was determined for the rest of time by the price that was paid for your life by Jesus' death on the cross. He gave Himself for you when you were completely undeserving. He saved You! You were re-created in Christ to do good works, to further the Kingdom of God, to glorify the Lord who saved you. Stop listening to a society that demeans women and reduces us to objects for lust and selfish gain and live for the glorious hope you have in Christ - for an everlasting Kingdom of justice, righteousness, and peace ruled by the Lord who gave His own life for YOU.
This means freedom for you even today, and delight in doing the will of God because you don't have to strive to build up your own reputation or measure up to society's standards. You have a much higher calling and a much greater God than any this world can offer. This revelation was so freeing when God hit me with it the other day. I was praying about my own struggles with these things, evaluating my worth by how well my physical appearance matched the standards I've set:
Worship Him, praise Him - and stop looking to yourself to find things worthy of praise. The Lord is more than enough, and you will find delight in Him - oh, how wonderful and praiseworthy is our God! A life of humility before Him is of infinitely more worth than a life of striving to be sufficiently wealthy, intelligent, sexy, or popular. Which do you want to pass on to the next generation of young women?
When you're a mother, talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does. But before you're a mother, let God talk to you to clean up all the lies it's already told you.
